Help! Music Emergency!

ISO: "Wedding music" that I actually like... preferably, a band willing to learn 4-5 hours worth of music I choose. I know, probably impossible, but if you know anyone who fits the bill...

The fiancé and I are both really particular and snobby about music, we feel strongly that we want the wedding music to reflect us and our tastes in some way, especially since we've had to compromise our ideals on so many other aspects. Unfortunately, the wedding industry doesn't seem to want us to have music we like at our wedding. I've largely been using New York Magazine's listings plus a few recommendations from friends... every single time a band description sounds even remotely appealing to us, we check out the website, and are appalled by the band's song list and/or demos.

I've floated the idea of Brazilian music -- I'm specifically interested in Tropicália, though I can't seem to find a real Tropicália band in NYC. The problem is that a lot of Brazilian or Brazilian-influenced bands (and Latin-influenced bands in general) is that they, too, cater to cheesier tastes... and some remind me way too much of Peruvian flute bands (and that South Park episode with the giant guinea pigs and Craig shooting laser beams out of his eyes, and... you get the point). They're still wedding bands at heart, and I guess that's exactly what we're not looking for. But we also aren't looking for something that would sound totally weird and out of place at a formal wedding in a fancy hotel... nothing that would freak out all the old Chinese and Jewish relatives, you know.

(Yes, I realize I've made two South Park references in two blog posts. I'm sure that count will continue to go up.)

Anyway, I know this is probably my fault for caring so much about the music, but I can't help it -- caring about music is what I do. Music is really personal for me, and the idea of having music at the wedding that not only doesn't represent my fiancé's and my tastes, but actually represents a whole lot that we're NOT about... well, it doesn't sit well with me. Maybe I'm a control freak. I don't really care what other people play at their weddings, but, like, this one's ours!

The obvious solution here seems to be to hook up a soundsystem to one of our iPods with a pre-set playlist on it, but the space is pretty big for the guest count limit my parents are imposing, and a live band would actually take up some space. Plus, I think Momzilla would prefer it, since it's more traditional or whatever to have an actual band, and I'm all about avoiding the panic attacks that tend to accompany any wedding "discussions" with her. Also, I'd need someone to control the playlist.

So I'm begging people for elegant and creative solutions here. I'm open to DJ and band combos, but I really just need musicians who don't have a cheesy "top wedding hits" repetoire and/or who are willing to learn a lot of new music. Upbeat world music with a party-like atmosphere works too, but nothing too esoteric. Thank you for any help you can provide!